You Will Never Guess What The FDA Just Did To Kind Bars


Bloomberg just reported that the FDA is all up in Kind Bar’s grill for having too much saturated fat in their bars.

The FDA says that you can’t label something as “healthy” if it has over 1 gram of saturated fat. Well, nuts contain tons of saturated fat and the quantity of nuts in Kind Bars is enough to send anyone into anaphylactic shock, so really not sure who at Kind Bar was responsible for the “healthy” label if less than 1 gram of saturated fat was the criteria. The dried fruit and almond bar has 3.5 grams of saturated fat. Only 250% out of range, it’s cool. Just kidding, you’re fired.

The FDA has ordered Kind Bar to change the labeling on their packaging stat. If they don’t they could risk getting pulled from the shelves at your local Whole Paycheck and other retailers.

There are no words to describe the level of FDA shit-baggery involved in this news. Avocados contain over 3 grams of saturated fat. If you tell us those aren’t “healthy,” we’re going on a three day hunger strike and drinking only green juice. Or if you live in Los Angeles, that’s just everyday.


Kind Bar’s success over the last two-years is insane. Their sales have tripled. During the products early years the founder Danile Lubetzky “could barely pay himself a $24,000 salary, let alone invest in getting more people to try the product.” In 2008, private equity firm VMG Partners invested in the company.

Fine. They’re successful. But how did they get there? Partially by saying, no. The owner has repeatedly said no to doing a private label business with Starbucks. What? But bu b, it’s Starbucks.

Lubetzky said no because he says then they’d be competing on cost not quality, and that didn’t sound so kind.

“If you start competing in the private-label business, it’s all about cost. A competitor might offer to do something for 5¢ less, and now you have to start cutting corners. It’s our reputation.” – Lubetzky.

If you’re thinking of private labeling your product. Maybe think twice. Or you could just say f–k it, it’s Starbucks.

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